So at this point we are going to talk about some dating and relationship phenomenon I have noticed in the last few years. They are things that are taking away from the dating experience and causing a hindrance to relationships. One that I have noticed a lot lately is the “fear of missing out” or FOMO. The FOMO syndrome doesn't just apply to dating. It is, in general, a fear that you are missing out on something else going one somewhere else, and even specifically that if you commit to something right now, there might be something better going on somewhere else and you will be stuck with your choice. But here's the crazy thing: this phenomenon really didn't exist 20 years ago, at least not as it does today. It has largely been created from the ever-present connection we have on social media to dozens of friends, acquaintances, family, co-workers, ex's, strangers, and enemies. When I was your age, there was no way to be constantly checking in on what everyone else was doing at any given second. We didn't know what parties were going on! We didn't know where people were! We coordinated with people by talking to them in person or on the phone (the landline) and then met up with them somewhere. We didn't know if someone was looking for us and couldn't find us. We didn't know if a better party was going on. Nor did we go home after a great time together and check in on what everyone else had done that night to see if it was better. But this social connection you have available to you in your pocket is not only effecting your level of commitment to social plans, its effecting your relationships. How many of you have struggled with the feeling that if you commit to someone, there might be a chance that someone better will come along. And if you are already in a relationship you will miss out on dating them. I have also heard that some avoid relationships because of the fear of missing out on what everyone else is doing on their adventures in single life. That if they are in a serious relationship with someone, they won’t get invited to do all the fun stuff everyone else is doing. Or that maybe their social life is going to magically become one big never-ending party just as they begin dating someone, and they don’t want to miss it. This FOMO trend reminds me of the “iPhone syndrome.” You all know what happens when you get the newest iPhone. It doesn’t take very long for a newer, supposedly better version to come out. It also doesn’t take long before you are thinking about getting the new phone. There’s nothing wrong with your phone. It works great. It is amazing. When you really think about it – your phone is absolutely amazing in what it can do. But all of the sudden it’s not good enough. And the few little changes – I wouldn’t even always call them improvements – the new version all of the sudden seems really important. Are we treating our relationships like iPhones? Are we happy in them for the moment? Are we invested in them as long as something different doesn’t come along? It is now also called FOMO – the fear of mission out. Symptoms of the problem. And you might be feeling like you are missing out because you didn’t date.
When you go to parking lot and there is a parking spot that’s a little way away you think oh I can get on close I can get a better spot. So I drive up to the front to get one closer and there aren’t any. And then I go back to get the one I saw first and its gone too.
FOMO thinking there is something better out there, you deserve better. Selfish see all these ideals that’s what I want and I don’t have that; exterior things, views of the world defined – all of the beauty standards feed fomo; fell like you are settling; a lot of needs are met but some aren’t, whatever I’ll settle; a persons’ core perception and expectation of where they should be and where they really are; I dated a girl and she was an awesome girl when it came time to get down the nitty gritty she felt that she still needed to date, still had a lot of single life left to live; if you don’t create it yourself, the horizontal validation of your roommates will take a big role in that they will make comments about a girl you are dating, you thought she was great but one of your roommates doesn’t think so and so you have to rethink it; comes from social media and I’ve really tried to get away from it, but then when I am away from it I feel like I am missing out because there’s all of these things people are talking about and I have no idea, you are missing out on the really important thing sand you are not good enough anymore because you don’t know what’s going on; once you are married you are tied down, marriage equals bondage; shouldn’t really exist if you are in a mature place, if you are sure about someone, it wont exist, fomo is doubts, fears, is your fomo if it dealt with could some relationships work, maybe shows your lack of commitment, then you are obviously not ready, if you are looking for something else, who they are, are they athletic, I can’t get along in that kind of sense, when I hear even within the church about social media Uchtdorf fourth floor last door they make it sound like it has to be this specific even to find that person; people go into depression when they se others lives and compare it to their own, the same happens in relationships I see these married riends post pictures it loks like they have the prefect marriage but they aren’t posting the disagreements or the one super annoying thing and so because of social media we have these friends have this perfect marriage or have that spark Culture we live in if we hit it off with someone quick we get pressure to get married, push through a relationship super quick if you are suffering from fomo a matter of selfishness; that’s a lack of faith, god inspires us, not with fear, doubts those do come from the devil, if we have fiath to end something, he is going to inspire us do it ina way that’s uplifignt we feel peace about concersn that we can officialy those are things I cant absolutely do, everything might not line up perfectly, it’s a perfection we might never see, we see potential and has to grow more to become than they are, then the spark comes, because you start to invest, even though you aren’t sure where its it; in young womens you make the list of an ideal guy and it doesn’t help; A connection the worry of maybe I could do better I’m seeing a lot of similarities, just manifested differently Every time you kiss youre on top of the world fireworks everytime I want us to be able to face some things. The core of course could be selfishness. But part of that has to do with something that has gone on in your generation, it’s not necessarily your fault, but it has definitely developed in this generation. And it’s something called entitlement. When we go to the core, we have to go to entitlement. I invite you to look inside of your heart and see if this issue could be worked through so that when some of these symptoms of it pop up in your life – when you find yourself struggling to accept a relationship because of fomo or spark or whatever it is - that you can see these are some things that I can change so that I have the greatest chance of receiving revelation in this process of dating. How can we possibly receive revelation about a relationship if we have boxed the Lord in with our Spark criteria? How can the Lord give us confirmation in a relationship if we are worried about missing out on something better? In my own life when I think about succumbing my will to the Father’s will, what if I don’t get what I want? He only wants what’s best for us, what will make us truly happy, he is going to take care of me, give me even better than what i planned for originally even if I can’t see it at that time. The exact opposite is marriage Marriage has no place for a heart of independence. A couple battles for separate lives I am a very independent person, thought of marriage, share my life with someone, can’t make my own decisions, that seems the exact opposite. In a fomo sense, I start to date someone and they don’t always give me what I want, so I’m going to keep searching until I find someone who gives me everything I want. I might miss out on someone better who would give me better what I want.