Dating Do's and Don'ts
So, let’s talk a little bit about some basic dating do’s and don’ts.
The reason these are important is because of this principle: when you plan ahead, pay for it, and pay attention to another person, it shows them that they are important enough to be planned for, paid for, and paid attention to.
The reason these are important is because of this principle: when you plan ahead, pay for it, and pay attention to another person, it shows them that they are important enough to be planned for, paid for, and paid attention to.
PLANNED
Let’s talk a little bit about planning ahead. When you plan what you’re going to do on a date ahead of time, it allows you to let the other person know what the plan is ahead of time.
This relieves a lot of stress – for both of you!
Guys, I'll let you in on a little secret: when you ask a girl out, she starts to worry about what she is going to wear on the date from that moment on until the date.
If you don’t tell her what you are going to do and where you are going to be going, she will lay out five outfits on her bed and her roommate will watch out the window and as soon as she sees you step out of the car, her roommate will yell, “He’s in jeans!” and the girl will freak out and madly run in and hurry to pick out an appropriate outfit.
Here’s another good question: Are you going to eat or are you not going to eat? If a girl doesn’t know if you are going to eat, she will eat a little bit just in case. And then when you don’t go get something to eat, she’ll be grumpy on the date because she’s hungry.
Or if you don’t tell her ahead of time, maybe she will go ahead and eat and then you wonder why she only took two bites of her hamburger. Let her know ahead of time!
And while we are talking about food, girls, when a guy asks you what you want to eat, you are not allowed to say, “I don’t care.” Of course you care. If you hate Mexican food, you are really not going to want to go get Mexican.
But guys, let me help you help them: Give them three choices of restaurants. And don’t make all three Mexican. This helps her know what your budget is looking like that night . . . and the girl can at least choose what she might like.
When you get to dinner, you open the menu and you say, “Wow, that looks good.” And the girl will automatically go to the price of whatever you said. And now she knows your budget! (Girls, stay within that budget!)
Some other things you should let your date know: how long are you going to be gone? She has a life, too. She needs to know how long she’s going to be gone and what the activity is going to be. (That’s a wardrobe issue, too.) Will you be sitting in a movie or going ice blocking. Your date needs to know.
Lastly, be on time. And girls, that is just as much for you as the boys. If you are going to be late, be courteous enough to let the other person know you are going to be late.
Girls, if you are running late getting ready, let him know. Maybe he is leaving work early to come get you at the time he told you.
This relieves a lot of stress – for both of you!
Guys, I'll let you in on a little secret: when you ask a girl out, she starts to worry about what she is going to wear on the date from that moment on until the date.
If you don’t tell her what you are going to do and where you are going to be going, she will lay out five outfits on her bed and her roommate will watch out the window and as soon as she sees you step out of the car, her roommate will yell, “He’s in jeans!” and the girl will freak out and madly run in and hurry to pick out an appropriate outfit.
Here’s another good question: Are you going to eat or are you not going to eat? If a girl doesn’t know if you are going to eat, she will eat a little bit just in case. And then when you don’t go get something to eat, she’ll be grumpy on the date because she’s hungry.
Or if you don’t tell her ahead of time, maybe she will go ahead and eat and then you wonder why she only took two bites of her hamburger. Let her know ahead of time!
And while we are talking about food, girls, when a guy asks you what you want to eat, you are not allowed to say, “I don’t care.” Of course you care. If you hate Mexican food, you are really not going to want to go get Mexican.
But guys, let me help you help them: Give them three choices of restaurants. And don’t make all three Mexican. This helps her know what your budget is looking like that night . . . and the girl can at least choose what she might like.
When you get to dinner, you open the menu and you say, “Wow, that looks good.” And the girl will automatically go to the price of whatever you said. And now she knows your budget! (Girls, stay within that budget!)
Some other things you should let your date know: how long are you going to be gone? She has a life, too. She needs to know how long she’s going to be gone and what the activity is going to be. (That’s a wardrobe issue, too.) Will you be sitting in a movie or going ice blocking. Your date needs to know.
Lastly, be on time. And girls, that is just as much for you as the boys. If you are going to be late, be courteous enough to let the other person know you are going to be late.
Girls, if you are running late getting ready, let him know. Maybe he is leaving work early to come get you at the time he told you.
PAID FOR
Ok, let’s talk a little bit about spending money on dates.
It is usually assumed that if you ask someone out, you are going to pay.
Make that as clear as possible.
Make the fact that you are going on a “date” as clear as possible.
If the other person is going to pay for anything, it is not a date, it’s just hanging out.
And I know in your minds that's a HUGE jump - from hanging out with someone to taking them on a date.
It's really doesn't have to be a huge jump, but if you ask someone out, plan on paying for them.
Do you have to spend a lot of money on a date? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Do girls determine your level of interest by how much you spent?
USUALLY NOT. And if she does, she needs to re-evaluate some things.
You do not have to spend a lot of MONEY to make a date a great experience.
Spending TIME and INTEREST on your date is much more important and much more valuable. The amount of thought you put into your time together is usually more meaningful to a girl than how much you spent on her.
It is usually assumed that if you ask someone out, you are going to pay.
Make that as clear as possible.
Make the fact that you are going on a “date” as clear as possible.
If the other person is going to pay for anything, it is not a date, it’s just hanging out.
And I know in your minds that's a HUGE jump - from hanging out with someone to taking them on a date.
It's really doesn't have to be a huge jump, but if you ask someone out, plan on paying for them.
Do you have to spend a lot of money on a date? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Do girls determine your level of interest by how much you spent?
USUALLY NOT. And if she does, she needs to re-evaluate some things.
You do not have to spend a lot of MONEY to make a date a great experience.
Spending TIME and INTEREST on your date is much more important and much more valuable. The amount of thought you put into your time together is usually more meaningful to a girl than how much you spent on her.
PAIRED OFF
Lastly, pair off.
A date is a commitment.
It’s not a huge commitment.
But it is a commitment for the duration of the date.
Think about it. We are talking maybe two hours.
A date does not equal marriage.
But it is a few hours.
In fact, your first dates shouldn’t be much more than a few hours.
And because it’s only a few hours, turn off your cell phone. Your date should be respected enough to have your attention for the short amount of time you are on a date. Go where you can communicate, where you can talk and get to know each other. Movies are usually not a good idea on the first date.
Now, pairing off doesn't mean you have to go alone - just the two of you. It is more fun and often more comfortable for everyone to go on dates with other couples. Just make sure that there are an even number of guys and girls on the "group date." Otherwise, the situation strongly resembles hanging out, and your date will be very confused.
A date is a commitment.
It’s not a huge commitment.
But it is a commitment for the duration of the date.
Think about it. We are talking maybe two hours.
A date does not equal marriage.
But it is a few hours.
In fact, your first dates shouldn’t be much more than a few hours.
And because it’s only a few hours, turn off your cell phone. Your date should be respected enough to have your attention for the short amount of time you are on a date. Go where you can communicate, where you can talk and get to know each other. Movies are usually not a good idea on the first date.
Now, pairing off doesn't mean you have to go alone - just the two of you. It is more fun and often more comfortable for everyone to go on dates with other couples. Just make sure that there are an even number of guys and girls on the "group date." Otherwise, the situation strongly resembles hanging out, and your date will be very confused.