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Cultural HistoryEdit this text to make it your own. To edit, simply click directly on the text and start typing. You can move the text by dragging and dropping the Text Element anywhere on the page. Break up your text with more than one paragraph for better readability.
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Food & DiningEdit this text to make it your own. To edit, simply click directly on the text and start typing. You can move the text by dragging and dropping the Text Element anywhere on the page. Break up your text with more than one paragraph for better readability.
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R E C O M M E N D A T I O N S
Summer Destinations
Coastal Italy
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African Safari
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Mayan Trail
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Consider these scenarios:
⦁ You are a motivated young woman who works hard at her job, tries to be responsible, and is going to college. Despite those positive efforts, you often struggle with feelings of discouragement and worthlessness.
⦁ You recently returned from a mission but have fallen back into a pornography problem. Although you sincerely testified for two years about the power of Jesus Christ to forgive, heal, empower and change, you are wondering why you still are struggling with this problem.
⦁ You didn’t date a lot in high school. Now you feel insecure and unsure of yourself in the college dating scene.
⦁ You got most of your validation growing up for playing Varsity or straight A’s or being first chair in orchestra. You now find that if you aren't the best at something or better than most, you don't feel successful. You also find yourself often putting others down who are more successful than you in some way.
⦁ You got a lot of attention for your looks as you were growing up. You find yourself always worried about what you look like and sure that others are judging you.
⦁ A male figure in your life disappointed or abandoned you. You find yourself believing that women don’t need men, that they are better off being alone or independent.
⦁ Your parents fought all your life and eventually got a divorce. You have a negative view of marriage. You avoid relationships and are not sure you want to get married.
examples of someone experiencing difficult challenges but not being effected by them
becky's story?
It seems your expeirences don't have an effect on your, your circumstances don't have an effect, if truth is planted. If false beliefs are there, they are unstable and changing
Our circumstances validate our false beliefs. But our circumstances have no effect on us if truth is planted. what we believe determiens whether our external environment has control in our lives.
Whether we realize it or not, our experiences shape our perspective, or how we see our lives.
And how we see our lives is how we will live our lives.
And that's because our experiences form beliefs in our minds.
And what we believe is at the root of what we feel, say and do. What we believe also drastically effects how we interact with others.
In fact, our beliefs influence our lives far more than just about anything else – including what happens to us. Something internal drives our external behavior far more than our external environment does.
In a 1986 talk entitled, “Little Children,” President Boyd K. Packer taught one of his most oft-quoted teachings: “True doctrine understood changes attitudes and behavior.” However, a few paragraphs before that quote in the same talk, he taught something that gives greater meaning and clarity to that truth: “Our behavior is not totally controlled by natural impulses. Behavior begins with belief, as well. Beliefs are born of philosophies, of doctrines [that] can be spiritual or secular, wholesome or destructive, true or false” ("Little Children," October 1986)
Our attitudes and behavior stem from the beliefs we have
Let me give you another example. John shows up to a new student ward and is introduced the first Sunday to Kurt, a young man who appears to be a “popular jock.” With only a handshake between them, John immediately doesn’t like Kurt. He quickly walks off to talk to someone else.
Can you guess what is going on here?
John has a negative belief - not necessarily about Kurt, but that "popular jocks are jerks." Maybe he had a negative exprerience in high school. But whatever his experience, it has formed a belief that is influencing his attitude and behavior.
However, what we actually believe is not always what we think or know that we believe. And because of the blatant deception in the world today, what we believe is sometimes not even true, we just don't realize it.
You young adults are making decisions, now more than ever before, that largely determine the direction of your lives – academically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially. And what you believe is influencing your life in every one of those areas.
Figuring out what you really believe – and not just about God or religious ideas, but what you believe about yourselves, others, and the world you live in – is one of the first crucial steps to understand yourself, your choices, and your relationships better.
So let’s do some digging.
What we believe influences how we feel, what we say, and what we do. When we know what we believe, we better understand why we do what we do. And when we change what we believe, it changes our attitudes and behaviors.
Stephen R. Covey once taught that “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
I do believe we, unlike other creatures on this earth, have a space between stimulus and response. But, our action or reaction does not occur in a vacuum. It is influenced by our beliefs, expectations and perceptions. Just like John. He had a choice how he would respond to Kurt. Maybe he even knew in his head how he should respond. But a belief existed that applied to that interaction with Kurt that influenced it. But his belief influenced his response.
The way I see it is that in that space between stimulus and response where we find choice we also find our beliefs, expectations, and perceptions.
In this powerful place between stimulus and response, we find choice. But I believe it’s also where we find our beliefs, our expectations, and our perceptions; anything that influences how we see the world. For they are the things that influence how we respond to the world.
Some call this theory a “belief box” – a concept taught most clearly in Virginia Pearce’s book called Through His Eyes: Rethinking What We Think About Ourselves.
So, what do we mean by "beliefs"? What are we talking about?
Well, what we end up putting in this box can be any kind of thinking. The ideas can be, as President Packer explained, both “spiritual or secular, wholesome or destructive, true or false,” looking something like this:
And what is interesting is that this “belief box” isn’t just a holding place. It’s a filter. Because everything we experience, every conversation we have, everything we learn, every news story we see on TV, every grade we get, every time we lose, every time we win, indeed, every input filters through that belief box before we ever react to it.
It looks something like this:
It is only after it has gone through this filter do we experience emotion and engage in some kind of behavior. This filter is what makes us the most intelligent, most advanced creature on the planet. Unlike animals, we don’t just impulsively react to what happens to us.
Of course there are some exceptions. We don’t ponder whether we should try to do something about a ball flying at our face. We have a built-in physiological reflex system that gets us to quickly and desperately grab a vase before it falls and which involves a completely different part of the brain. What we are talking about here are the things we process, reason through, or solve.
Now, some of you may be thinking, “But wait. There have been plenty of times I have a “knee-jerk” reaction in a situation, where I did something to someone almost like they were a ball coming at my face, but should have taken a second to think it through.” And that may be true.
But that’s because our experiences filter through our beliefs often quite instantly, especially if we have had the belief for a long time. We don’t necessarily consciously think of what we believe about an issue when we are in the moment of the circumstance and then decide how we are going to respond. Nor do we necessarily decide what belief to filter an experience through before we act.
What all of this boils down to is that the choice, in many ways, of what we will do in a specific situation is made way back when we decided to put that belief in there in the first place. For our experiences will filter through it whether we are aware of it or not.
For example, one day right as I was about to start a class, this young man sat down in the last empty seat. About a half a minute later, a young lady walked in the door. Within a millisecond, this young man jumped up, started packing up his things, and offered his seat to her. He then sat on the ground near the front of the room for the rest of class. It was incredible to watch. And his actions made me wonder something: what correct beliefs did this young man have? What had he filtered that experience through? His actions were just so instant. And I believe his actions revealed his beliefs.
But the opposite is also true. A “popular” person was rude to John for years as he was growing up. John went to college, moved into a new ward, and the first Sunday he saw some guy standing there with a lot of people around him talking to him. In his mind he said, “He must be a jerk.” John doesn’t even know this guy, doesn’t even know his name. But he must be a jerk because everyone likes him. Without any conscious decision on his part, John’s emotions and behavior were a product of his belief.
This belief/expectation/perception filter is also what makes us all different. Think about this: ten people could sit in a room and listen to the exact same presentation and all ten of them could take something completely different from it. All ten of them could feel different emotions and behave in different ways.
Why? Because all ten of them could have had different beliefs or expectations or perceptions that that experience filtered through: “I’m really going to enjoy this” might lead to “That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard.” “Wow, I’ve got too much on my plate today” could lead to “That was the biggest waste of my time.” “I could have done this presentation. I know a lot about it” could lead to “This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t know why they asked him to present.” And on and on.
So now that you can see a little bit how this works, let’s look at how this belief filter specifically influences the experiences you are having and the choices you are making in your single adult lives right now.
So, let’s say a boy asks you out or a girl shows interest in you. But, you have a belief about yourself that you’re not lovable, you’re not attractive, or you’re not fun. Maybe you believe relationships just cause pain. Whatever your belief is, it sits in that box. Its’ not necessarily true. It’s just what you believe, probably from some negative experience you had in the past.
So when that input comes in – a boy asks you out or a girl shows interest in you – it filters through that “dating/relationships belief,” and all kinds of negative emotions begin to flow. You get scared, anxious. You want to call and say you’re sick because today’s Thursday and tomorrow you are supposed to go and you don’t want to go. If you’re not lovable: “Why in the world did I ask her out? She’s not going to like me anyway. Why go?” And so you start to have all of these emotions. And you wonder why you are feeling this way.
What usually happens on the date? You’re reserved, you hide, you don’t talk much. And this is the sad thing. A new input will come in.
The date is uncomfortable. It’s hard to talk. You can tell the other person isn’t having a good time. And it just reinforces your false belief. And so you feel hurt, rejected. And try to end the date as quickly as possible. Then the next time you get asked out, you say no. You avoid dating. You trash talk the opposite gender. You have your pity parties. You go play video games with your buddies. You make yourself busy, losing yourself in school, hobbies, callings, etc.
And all of this happens because of your false belief.
But here’s something I want you to remember from this: your perception is your reality but that doesn’t mean that it’s reality. It is real to you. Because it’s what you believe. And your beliefs are simply the things that you have accepted as truth. And that’s your reality. I can tell you it’s wrong. Others can tell you it’s wrong. But to you, it’s real. And it completely changes the experience.
So let’s switch this up.
Let’s say the same thing happens: you get asked out or a girl shows interest. But let’s say that, instead, you believe you’re lovable, you’re good, or you’re of worth. You really, honestly belief that. (And notice that none of those beliefs compare you with anyone else.)
Once that experience filters through that belief, what’s your emotion? You’re still nervous. It’s someone from the opposite gender for Pete’s sake. And that makes everybody nervous. But you’re kind of excited, too. And more comfortable, more confident with who you really are, weaknesses and all.
From that belief, your behavior on the date is also different. You’re more outgoing, happier, and maybe even a good listener . . . because you are not so worried about yourself. You then enjoy yourself, regardless of how the date goes or if they show interest, even if you don’t get asked out again. Because you don’t need something horizontal to reinforce an eternal truth. The heavens do that.
As you are on the date, a new input comes in, a new experience. You are having a good time. And your date seems like they are having a good time, and enjoying your company. That experience filters again through your true belief. And because of that belief, you feel excited, happy, and more willing to be vulnerable. You find yourself being more open, more able to think about the other person instead of yourself. And in future experiences, you are more willing to date, and continue to be more open with others, even with the chance of getting hurt.
One of the reasons this experience is so different than the first, is because the belief was based upon truth. And when our beliefs are based on eternal truth, then the Holy Ghost can sanction them, filling our lives with the fruits of the Spirit – peace, love, joy, and goodness.
When this happens, we don’t need something horizontal to reinforce our belief or to give us assurance. False beliefs need horizontal reinforcement. If the date is all about you, you have to find horizontal reinforcement, “Does this guy like me?” “I’m good if she does; I’m bad if she doesn’t.”
True beliefs are not dependent upon horizontal approval. The more you really know that God loves you and you are His child and your worth is based upon how He feels about you, you go on a date you go out with a desire to serve and bless others. And when you do, the Holy Ghost will always will give you assurance and approval. How the date goes doesn’t determine how you feel, nor does it change your belief. Your source of strength, assurance, and confidence will be vertical. And when our emotions and behavior are influenced by divine truth, they end up being more positive, more genuine, and more beneficial.
If you are wondering at this point, if this is really how it works, I invite you to go experiment with it a little bit. Maybe think back to a really positive experience. Delve into your brain and discover what your thought process was before, during and after the event. Think back to a negative one. Why was it so negative? What were you thinking inside your head? What beliefs were involved in this experience?
Or better yet, try this out the next time you go into an experience. Become aware beforehand of any beliefs you might have about a person or situation. See how your perceptions influence your experience. Watch how your expectations of others effect how you feel about them. (The next chapter explains better how to figure that out.)
Also, take a look at your life in general. Are there things that don’t make sense? Do you respond to certain things in life in negative ways and you don’t understand why? Do you have strong faith but you struggle with obedience? Do you believe in eternal families but are afraid to marry? Do you have a testimony of the Savior’s Atonement but struggle with repentance? Does it not matter how well you do at something, it never feels good enough?
Do you find yourselves constantly jealous and angry at other people, even people you don’t know? Are you an active, faithful member who loves the Lord and loves His gospel but find yourself struggling with depression? Do you find yourself facing the same fears or insecurities in relationships no matter who the person is? Are you willingly obedient but then find yourself frustrated that the Lord doesn’t always bless you for it?
These could be evidences that you might have false beliefs, expectations, and perceptions that are distorting your feelings and behavior.
Our thoughts, feelings, words and choices are a product of what is in this space where we hold our beliefs far more than they are a product of what happens to us. Indeed, our faith, obedience, hope, joy and peace have far more to do with what kind of beliefs are in this space than what happens in our lives.
And so we need to figure out what is in this space between what happens to us and what we do about it.
We need to figure out what we really believe.
⦁ You are a motivated young woman who works hard at her job, tries to be responsible, and is going to college. Despite those positive efforts, you often struggle with feelings of discouragement and worthlessness.
⦁ You recently returned from a mission but have fallen back into a pornography problem. Although you sincerely testified for two years about the power of Jesus Christ to forgive, heal, empower and change, you are wondering why you still are struggling with this problem.
⦁ You didn’t date a lot in high school. Now you feel insecure and unsure of yourself in the college dating scene.
⦁ You got most of your validation growing up for playing Varsity or straight A’s or being first chair in orchestra. You now find that if you aren't the best at something or better than most, you don't feel successful. You also find yourself often putting others down who are more successful than you in some way.
⦁ You got a lot of attention for your looks as you were growing up. You find yourself always worried about what you look like and sure that others are judging you.
⦁ A male figure in your life disappointed or abandoned you. You find yourself believing that women don’t need men, that they are better off being alone or independent.
⦁ Your parents fought all your life and eventually got a divorce. You have a negative view of marriage. You avoid relationships and are not sure you want to get married.
examples of someone experiencing difficult challenges but not being effected by them
becky's story?
It seems your expeirences don't have an effect on your, your circumstances don't have an effect, if truth is planted. If false beliefs are there, they are unstable and changing
Our circumstances validate our false beliefs. But our circumstances have no effect on us if truth is planted. what we believe determiens whether our external environment has control in our lives.
Whether we realize it or not, our experiences shape our perspective, or how we see our lives.
And how we see our lives is how we will live our lives.
And that's because our experiences form beliefs in our minds.
And what we believe is at the root of what we feel, say and do. What we believe also drastically effects how we interact with others.
In fact, our beliefs influence our lives far more than just about anything else – including what happens to us. Something internal drives our external behavior far more than our external environment does.
In a 1986 talk entitled, “Little Children,” President Boyd K. Packer taught one of his most oft-quoted teachings: “True doctrine understood changes attitudes and behavior.” However, a few paragraphs before that quote in the same talk, he taught something that gives greater meaning and clarity to that truth: “Our behavior is not totally controlled by natural impulses. Behavior begins with belief, as well. Beliefs are born of philosophies, of doctrines [that] can be spiritual or secular, wholesome or destructive, true or false” ("Little Children," October 1986)
Our attitudes and behavior stem from the beliefs we have
Let me give you another example. John shows up to a new student ward and is introduced the first Sunday to Kurt, a young man who appears to be a “popular jock.” With only a handshake between them, John immediately doesn’t like Kurt. He quickly walks off to talk to someone else.
Can you guess what is going on here?
John has a negative belief - not necessarily about Kurt, but that "popular jocks are jerks." Maybe he had a negative exprerience in high school. But whatever his experience, it has formed a belief that is influencing his attitude and behavior.
However, what we actually believe is not always what we think or know that we believe. And because of the blatant deception in the world today, what we believe is sometimes not even true, we just don't realize it.
You young adults are making decisions, now more than ever before, that largely determine the direction of your lives – academically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially. And what you believe is influencing your life in every one of those areas.
Figuring out what you really believe – and not just about God or religious ideas, but what you believe about yourselves, others, and the world you live in – is one of the first crucial steps to understand yourself, your choices, and your relationships better.
So let’s do some digging.
What we believe influences how we feel, what we say, and what we do. When we know what we believe, we better understand why we do what we do. And when we change what we believe, it changes our attitudes and behaviors.
Stephen R. Covey once taught that “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
I do believe we, unlike other creatures on this earth, have a space between stimulus and response. But, our action or reaction does not occur in a vacuum. It is influenced by our beliefs, expectations and perceptions. Just like John. He had a choice how he would respond to Kurt. Maybe he even knew in his head how he should respond. But a belief existed that applied to that interaction with Kurt that influenced it. But his belief influenced his response.
The way I see it is that in that space between stimulus and response where we find choice we also find our beliefs, expectations, and perceptions.
In this powerful place between stimulus and response, we find choice. But I believe it’s also where we find our beliefs, our expectations, and our perceptions; anything that influences how we see the world. For they are the things that influence how we respond to the world.
Some call this theory a “belief box” – a concept taught most clearly in Virginia Pearce’s book called Through His Eyes: Rethinking What We Think About Ourselves.
So, what do we mean by "beliefs"? What are we talking about?
Well, what we end up putting in this box can be any kind of thinking. The ideas can be, as President Packer explained, both “spiritual or secular, wholesome or destructive, true or false,” looking something like this:
And what is interesting is that this “belief box” isn’t just a holding place. It’s a filter. Because everything we experience, every conversation we have, everything we learn, every news story we see on TV, every grade we get, every time we lose, every time we win, indeed, every input filters through that belief box before we ever react to it.
It looks something like this:
It is only after it has gone through this filter do we experience emotion and engage in some kind of behavior. This filter is what makes us the most intelligent, most advanced creature on the planet. Unlike animals, we don’t just impulsively react to what happens to us.
Of course there are some exceptions. We don’t ponder whether we should try to do something about a ball flying at our face. We have a built-in physiological reflex system that gets us to quickly and desperately grab a vase before it falls and which involves a completely different part of the brain. What we are talking about here are the things we process, reason through, or solve.
Now, some of you may be thinking, “But wait. There have been plenty of times I have a “knee-jerk” reaction in a situation, where I did something to someone almost like they were a ball coming at my face, but should have taken a second to think it through.” And that may be true.
But that’s because our experiences filter through our beliefs often quite instantly, especially if we have had the belief for a long time. We don’t necessarily consciously think of what we believe about an issue when we are in the moment of the circumstance and then decide how we are going to respond. Nor do we necessarily decide what belief to filter an experience through before we act.
What all of this boils down to is that the choice, in many ways, of what we will do in a specific situation is made way back when we decided to put that belief in there in the first place. For our experiences will filter through it whether we are aware of it or not.
For example, one day right as I was about to start a class, this young man sat down in the last empty seat. About a half a minute later, a young lady walked in the door. Within a millisecond, this young man jumped up, started packing up his things, and offered his seat to her. He then sat on the ground near the front of the room for the rest of class. It was incredible to watch. And his actions made me wonder something: what correct beliefs did this young man have? What had he filtered that experience through? His actions were just so instant. And I believe his actions revealed his beliefs.
But the opposite is also true. A “popular” person was rude to John for years as he was growing up. John went to college, moved into a new ward, and the first Sunday he saw some guy standing there with a lot of people around him talking to him. In his mind he said, “He must be a jerk.” John doesn’t even know this guy, doesn’t even know his name. But he must be a jerk because everyone likes him. Without any conscious decision on his part, John’s emotions and behavior were a product of his belief.
This belief/expectation/perception filter is also what makes us all different. Think about this: ten people could sit in a room and listen to the exact same presentation and all ten of them could take something completely different from it. All ten of them could feel different emotions and behave in different ways.
Why? Because all ten of them could have had different beliefs or expectations or perceptions that that experience filtered through: “I’m really going to enjoy this” might lead to “That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard.” “Wow, I’ve got too much on my plate today” could lead to “That was the biggest waste of my time.” “I could have done this presentation. I know a lot about it” could lead to “This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t know why they asked him to present.” And on and on.
So now that you can see a little bit how this works, let’s look at how this belief filter specifically influences the experiences you are having and the choices you are making in your single adult lives right now.
So, let’s say a boy asks you out or a girl shows interest in you. But, you have a belief about yourself that you’re not lovable, you’re not attractive, or you’re not fun. Maybe you believe relationships just cause pain. Whatever your belief is, it sits in that box. Its’ not necessarily true. It’s just what you believe, probably from some negative experience you had in the past.
So when that input comes in – a boy asks you out or a girl shows interest in you – it filters through that “dating/relationships belief,” and all kinds of negative emotions begin to flow. You get scared, anxious. You want to call and say you’re sick because today’s Thursday and tomorrow you are supposed to go and you don’t want to go. If you’re not lovable: “Why in the world did I ask her out? She’s not going to like me anyway. Why go?” And so you start to have all of these emotions. And you wonder why you are feeling this way.
What usually happens on the date? You’re reserved, you hide, you don’t talk much. And this is the sad thing. A new input will come in.
The date is uncomfortable. It’s hard to talk. You can tell the other person isn’t having a good time. And it just reinforces your false belief. And so you feel hurt, rejected. And try to end the date as quickly as possible. Then the next time you get asked out, you say no. You avoid dating. You trash talk the opposite gender. You have your pity parties. You go play video games with your buddies. You make yourself busy, losing yourself in school, hobbies, callings, etc.
And all of this happens because of your false belief.
But here’s something I want you to remember from this: your perception is your reality but that doesn’t mean that it’s reality. It is real to you. Because it’s what you believe. And your beliefs are simply the things that you have accepted as truth. And that’s your reality. I can tell you it’s wrong. Others can tell you it’s wrong. But to you, it’s real. And it completely changes the experience.
So let’s switch this up.
Let’s say the same thing happens: you get asked out or a girl shows interest. But let’s say that, instead, you believe you’re lovable, you’re good, or you’re of worth. You really, honestly belief that. (And notice that none of those beliefs compare you with anyone else.)
Once that experience filters through that belief, what’s your emotion? You’re still nervous. It’s someone from the opposite gender for Pete’s sake. And that makes everybody nervous. But you’re kind of excited, too. And more comfortable, more confident with who you really are, weaknesses and all.
From that belief, your behavior on the date is also different. You’re more outgoing, happier, and maybe even a good listener . . . because you are not so worried about yourself. You then enjoy yourself, regardless of how the date goes or if they show interest, even if you don’t get asked out again. Because you don’t need something horizontal to reinforce an eternal truth. The heavens do that.
As you are on the date, a new input comes in, a new experience. You are having a good time. And your date seems like they are having a good time, and enjoying your company. That experience filters again through your true belief. And because of that belief, you feel excited, happy, and more willing to be vulnerable. You find yourself being more open, more able to think about the other person instead of yourself. And in future experiences, you are more willing to date, and continue to be more open with others, even with the chance of getting hurt.
One of the reasons this experience is so different than the first, is because the belief was based upon truth. And when our beliefs are based on eternal truth, then the Holy Ghost can sanction them, filling our lives with the fruits of the Spirit – peace, love, joy, and goodness.
When this happens, we don’t need something horizontal to reinforce our belief or to give us assurance. False beliefs need horizontal reinforcement. If the date is all about you, you have to find horizontal reinforcement, “Does this guy like me?” “I’m good if she does; I’m bad if she doesn’t.”
True beliefs are not dependent upon horizontal approval. The more you really know that God loves you and you are His child and your worth is based upon how He feels about you, you go on a date you go out with a desire to serve and bless others. And when you do, the Holy Ghost will always will give you assurance and approval. How the date goes doesn’t determine how you feel, nor does it change your belief. Your source of strength, assurance, and confidence will be vertical. And when our emotions and behavior are influenced by divine truth, they end up being more positive, more genuine, and more beneficial.
If you are wondering at this point, if this is really how it works, I invite you to go experiment with it a little bit. Maybe think back to a really positive experience. Delve into your brain and discover what your thought process was before, during and after the event. Think back to a negative one. Why was it so negative? What were you thinking inside your head? What beliefs were involved in this experience?
Or better yet, try this out the next time you go into an experience. Become aware beforehand of any beliefs you might have about a person or situation. See how your perceptions influence your experience. Watch how your expectations of others effect how you feel about them. (The next chapter explains better how to figure that out.)
Also, take a look at your life in general. Are there things that don’t make sense? Do you respond to certain things in life in negative ways and you don’t understand why? Do you have strong faith but you struggle with obedience? Do you believe in eternal families but are afraid to marry? Do you have a testimony of the Savior’s Atonement but struggle with repentance? Does it not matter how well you do at something, it never feels good enough?
Do you find yourselves constantly jealous and angry at other people, even people you don’t know? Are you an active, faithful member who loves the Lord and loves His gospel but find yourself struggling with depression? Do you find yourself facing the same fears or insecurities in relationships no matter who the person is? Are you willingly obedient but then find yourself frustrated that the Lord doesn’t always bless you for it?
These could be evidences that you might have false beliefs, expectations, and perceptions that are distorting your feelings and behavior.
Our thoughts, feelings, words and choices are a product of what is in this space where we hold our beliefs far more than they are a product of what happens to us. Indeed, our faith, obedience, hope, joy and peace have far more to do with what kind of beliefs are in this space than what happens in our lives.
And so we need to figure out what is in this space between what happens to us and what we do about it.
We need to figure out what we really believe.